A Teenagers Guide To How To Clean Your Room
My children complain to me all the time that I just don’t understand them. They think that I was hatched a forty year old woman with six kids. The truth is that if there was ever a teenager with more angst, I can’t imagine. All the cliche things that teenagers do, I did. All the silly things to get into trouble for, yep me. That is why I thought that it would be fun to remember what my ten year old mind thought the rules would be about how to clean your room. I can remember when I was young, these were the things that, if I did, I thought I had a clean room. In talking to my cleaning lady from King of Maids, this is how I explained it:
Rule number one on how to clean your room: Clean or dirty makes no difference
It makes no difference if clothes are clean or dirty. If your mom tells you to pick up your clothes, you promptly pick them all up off the floor and put them into your laundry hamper. This isn’t a problem because, in your teenage mind, you have no idea that your mom spent the entire day cleaning and folding clothes. When you tried them on, and they weren’t what you wanted to wear in the morning, it seemed logical to throw them on the floor. The problem is that by the time we, as adults, find the clothes rolled up in the hamper, even if we know they are clean, we have to rewash them. The stink of prepubescent yuck from one outfit always permeates to the others around it and then what you have is a whole repeat day.
Rule number two on how to clean your room: If it is under the bed it is invisible
If there is something in the room that doesn’t belong there, or that they don’t want, under the bed it goes. The best part about a bed is that it is a magic disappearing box. Once you put things under your dust ruffle they no longer exist. Like a magician’s closest, those things that make their way under the dust curtain are no longer of any concern. It makes no difference if it is collecting fruit flies, or rotting, if it is under the bed it is gone for good.
Rule number three on how to clean your room: There is no specific place for anything
So, I have a collection of dolls and one of books. They can go together in any order whatsoever. Legos? Sure they go just fine with the puzzle that is in pieces that I never finished. My earrings? They don’t need to be put in pairs, I am sure that they will be found the next time that someone comes with a vacuum. There is no such thing as organization. If you are able to shove it somewhere, it is the perfect place for it. Hands down, out of sight is out of mind.
Rule number four on how to clean your room: Teenage colored glasses
The best rule of all is that if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist. Any teenager can walk out of their room professing that they have it all cleaned up, only to find that they haven’t touched a thing. They have this uncanny ability to not acknowledge things that they don’t want to. I wish that I had a fraction of that ability to just be ignorant to those things I didn’t want to deal with.
These rules on how to clean your room are ones that I wish I still believed in. I will say one thing for kids, they have it all figured out. They also have it figured out how to get us to take over and clean up for them, don’t they?